I know I suck. You always say I suck.
Yes, I agree. I should go fuck myself.
I see the effort I put into making myself a better person, but you didn’t.
I guess I’m not putting in enough effort, that’s why you can’t see/feel any changes.
& those same words never fail to hurt so badly that made me have suicidal thoughts, which I know was extremely dumb and foolish. Nothing’s changed.
I really wonder why you started to ask me to change only recently. Have I been a sucky girlfriend for such a long time that you can’t take it anymore? Honestly, you never blew your top at me like how you did recently. I hit your limits already, didn’t I?
this time, you decide to just use ‘fuck’ on me. that’s one word you never used it seriously on me. well, i accept it, cos i know i deserve it.
am i making you miserable? i think i am.
should i let you go? maybe you would be happier without me?
you told me no matter how fierce you are at me, you still love me. that’s part of what keeping me from letting you go, other than me still loving you.
deep down, i don’t want to let you go. i rather you are the one who left me.
at least i know i deserve that, and that you know that you would be better off without me.
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i know i suck as a girlfriend. i don’t deserve you. maybe you should just dump me easily like how your friends dump their girls when they are not treating them well. you don’t deserve to be with the biggest sucker in the universe. you deserve much better.
yes. i should go fuck myself. & i should always be alone. i don’t know how to love someone, i don’t deserve to be loved.
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Get Well Soon. You’re Missed.
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P.S. There are things I want you to change too. But I don’t think you should. I love how you are 5 years ago, I still love how you are now.
